by Tanis Helliwell
I am in the middle of a house renovation. You might have gone through this in your own life so you KNOW what it is like to live through continual hammering, dust, and delays. Sounds terrible, doesn’t it? But I have found gold amongst the rubble. Most importantly, I CHOSE to do the Reno and this is the major reason I am writing to you.
Let’s back up a bit as I want to speak of my life the last few months. My creativity has been non-existent. Partially it has to do with fatigue from giving six courses in Europe without a break. Another reason is the ongoing health concerns of my partner. A third has to do with family discord…and that is an understatement for what is happening. Added to all this is the time I am spending on my least favorite work, administrative and computer work, keeping our International Institute for Transformation (which I love) current.
Ahhh, now that you have heard the litany of overload—which you might also be able to identify with—I’d like to share with you the gift I’ve discovered underneath the chaos. Your question might well be, “Why would you choose to add more stress to what already exists in your life?” Good point and normally I would agree with you. However, under these stressors in my day-to-day reality, I feel deep subconscious undercurrents stirring and starting to rise to the surface. These call for a different response.
When creativity dries up and we can’t see what spirit calls us to do next, we can’t push forward. To do so, only muddies the waters. We are in a pause period and we must surrender to this and wait until light begins to shine in the darkness once again. This is the time of what Jung called the shadow. A time when one way of doing in our life leaves and a new one has not yet come into form. It is a time of emptiness in the outer world but a time of gestating a baby in the inner. It is a time calling for deep trust in the divine plan that we are not abandoned and that inspiration will return and with it the energy to move forward to manifest the next step in our destiny.
It is a time when all the work that is being done is in the unconscious, something we do not see or know until that blessed time when what is unknown rises to the surface and becomes the known. This time is upon me. It is not only my personal shadow but the shadow of my personal and extended family. It is a deep ancestral wounding that is calling on to be healed. And it is being healed in the unconscious through the love and surrender and acceptance and even gratitude that I send to it.
It is, at the same time, the collective wound of the world that is rising to the surface that calls to be healed. And, as I allow the healing in my lineage, I allow it in the collective. There is no difference. The non-judgmental allowing is the important attitude.
“How does this relate to renovating your house?” I hear you asking. My answer is that I am tearing down the old that no longer feeds my soul and am creating a new structure and container that best represents me at this time in my life. I am updating my life to the present and not clinging to the past. Whether we throw out clothes that don’t fit or redecorate our home, the purpose is the same and the autumn in nature is a perfect time for us also to do as the Bible says, “Gather in the wheat and leave the chaff.” At this time, while awaiting the birth of the new baby, I can prepare the outer room to welcome it. This is a gift and a joy!